One secret to true joy !
It had been a long break. A quite long break for a writer. I did not write for full thirty eight days. I wrote nothing.
Though at times I wanted to write but I realized that I would not be able to complete that work. Some times during this period, I did not want to say any thing. I decided to be silent. I had been so busy in doing things that I “am” !
During this all time, I had been continuously contemplating on myself.
I decided and learned and acted on the most important things of my life.
I had been busy doing not what I had always wanted to do but what had been my ID. Now what was that perhaps may not be that much important for you. It could be cloth weaving, It could be gardening and raising flowers.
The point is: what does a pianist do? Play the piano. What does an aviator do? Fly the plane. What does a traveller do? Travel. What does a teacher do? Teach. What does a poet do? Writes poetry.
We all have different roles in our lives. We are fathers and mothers, spouses and siblings, teachers and students, employers and employees, social service doers and some cause supporters. And each one of our roles demands an “identity”.
What kind of a son or a daughter we would be? Caring, loving or some thing more that you want to be? What kind of a spouse? Loving, trustworthy, loyal? What kind of a banker would you be? Professional or client oriented? What kind of a coach would you like your players to remember you as? Superb, hardworking, talent nurturing ?
These are all adjectives which give us our unique ID for that role. A superb parent, a loving spouse, a trustworthy friend, a thorough researcher, a goal accomplisher, a truth seeker, a peace keeper, a respect giver etc.
An ID is an answer to the question. What if you were on a national TV and you were given 10 minutes to think and one minute to speak in a reply to the question: “Who are you?”
Our IDs are our recognition for our own selves in our own eyes first and in the eyes of the world later.
The bad news is that most of the times we choose our IDs unconsciously and some times rather stupidly.
The good news is we can always choose the right IDs directing us to what we want to be or become.
So do the following. This simple exercise would change your view and perhaps your life in future:
1. Take a pen and a paper and in the first column write all your roles that you are in your life, e.g a husband, son, spouse, parent, professional, surgeon, lawyer, coach, etc
2. In front of that role, use one or two adjectives as your IDs expressing what kind and quality of that role you are going to be.
3. Decide to retain those IDs and rather improve them.
4. If you already have some IDs and you are feeling stupid and unhappy in your life, it is because your actions are not matching your ID.
5. In this case do one thing. Either change your ID to match your actions or change your actions to match your ID.
Our actions matching our IDs: that is the key to genuine happiness and joy in our lives.