When all else fails, step back from all that you want to do. Take a deep breath. Take a few steps back again. Till you are able to feel that you are no more a part of it. It is similar to taking a few steps back from a crowded place till you can only see it as a larger picture.
Have you ever thought what does the word discipline exactly mean? Though most common meanings associated or linked with this word are those linked to a concept of military life style characterized by every thing or activity strictly set in routines, schedules and the dogma like: place for every thing and every thing for a place etc.
Out of the four essential elements of genuine love is kneeling down before truth. Unless and until we are committed deep with in ourselves that we shall succumb ourselves to truth, we shall never be able to find, even taste a hint of genuine love.
Love begins itself inside a person with this will, the will to succumb to truth.
Let’s have a deeper look and consider the following facts together.
a. Love is a will to grow mentally and spiritually.
b. Each unit of universe, a cell, an oak, a whale grows to its maximum possible length. Each unit of universe except us the human beings follow their inherent growth code to its full length.
c. We humans have been given this endowment of “choice”. We can choose to grow or not to grow. We can choose to become our best or not become our best.
d. As life moves on change keeps on occurring. People change. Addresses change. Ideas change. Situations and geographical maps change. Some things that used to work perfectly become obsolete. Some things which we never thought would be ever used suddenly or gradually become the necessity.
e. Our perception is our view of life as we see it.
f. For someone to be genuinely truthful he has to be honest in his intent to quote the reality as it occurred as well as his view of the reality must not be distorted. For being truthful, our perception must have to be as close to reality as it can be.
g. We cannot grow if we do not alter our perception of reality as reality changes. For example if a neighborhood park is converted into a shopping mall and we do not change the corresponding address, chances are our mail shall not reach the intended address. We would have to redraw our map of neighborhood to make some one understand the correct way to arrive at our door step.
h. We all have a tendency to keep the same addresses in our minds, since creating new ones takes effort. The same way we tend to stick to already built ideas and views even if the corresponding realities have changed because it takes efforts to redraw maps. We stick to same views for years and years because it is difficult, uneasy and some times painful to create new views. We forget that in pain resides growth.
i. As a result of sticking to the same maps with newer neighborhoods, we loose businesses, jobs, relationships. This all is very painful. We do not realize that although redrawing or remaking our views according to changed reality is hard and painful, it is much less painful than the results which we create by sticking to the same views.
j. We cannot achieve spiritual and mental growth if we see a distorted image of reality or if we fail to see it or if we do not want to see it so we decide to tell ourselves that we cannot see it.
h. Our consistent opponent in changing our views is our ego. It keeps on telling us with a certain pride that we were right and we still are. To this persistence is added our mental inertia i.e. the habit of keeping things the same.
h. Love consistently demands succumbing ourselves to truth. That is why one of the hardest endeavors for human mind is to change religion. Another example is our general inability of changing our style of work even if situations demand.
We often experience people not even ready to listen to another person’s point of view as soon as they get a hint that it can challenge their existing beliefs. For them changing beliefs is painful since they have to first tell themselves that they were previously wrong or inaccurate and then they have to do a mental effort to find the correct or right ones.
Very few people are able to achieve this level of spiritual growth since very few people are people of love.
Genuine love is only possible if we have an unshakable commitment to change ourselves according to truth. We must be ready to alter our views, values and beliefs as as soon as we find “truer” ones.
This is the only way to find our true space in the universe. This is the only way to find ourselves. This is the only way to arrive at the doorsteps of God.
The one question that almost kept on coming back to me was: where to begin?
Whether it was about starting a business or planning an exercise routine, or trying to re-build a relationship or how to get rid of an unwanted habit, the question almost always stays there: where to begin.
The answer is simple. Yet is revealed only upon those who spend genuine time on the thought process. It is two words: Begin Now.
Every decision takes a certain amount of energy to make. The larger the decision and its impact, the larger the emotional and mental energy it requires from us.
However, small or tiny decisions that need to be repeated again and again consume our energies and drain our will power. The decisions could be so small like resisting to leave your work chair before a task is complete or resisting an urge to check email.
Small decisions, if needed to be repeated again and again consume our will power and bring us emotional fatigue. The key to get rid of this emotional fatigue is to take an action that limits the decision.
Going offline while working on an important task relieves us from emotional fatigue, since we have eliminated (though for a short period of time) the possibility of going online.
It becomes more significant in significant decisions impacting us like leaving a job or getting out of a dead relationship. If we have decided to break up with some one, then taking a similar action like asking for announcing of a divorce relieves us from emotional fatigue.
Taking actions to support such decisions like putting constraints on ourselves involves love. We do not want to let ourselves suffer without a cause worthy of it.
Start loving yourself truly. If you have decided to focus on work, go offline. If you have decided to end a dead relationship, get a divorce. If you have decided to start your business, quit your job.
Take the plunge. Dive in the unknown realm of what is coming up next. Trust your future. Trust the hand that writes that future. Act with love. You will be handled with love.
It is always hard to start some thing. The human brain has a sharp memory and this memory works wonderfully at retaining painful events. For our brain any thing can be painful for which it has to build new neural networks.
The battles I have one:
1. To be able to think best of the people, to think about not what they have done to me, neither about what they are but what they can become!
2. To still my mind, I have learned to do one thing at a time. If I am reading a book, I am reading a book. If I am taking a walk, I am taking a walk. Nothing more.
3. To work hard as if there were no God and things only depended on me and to pray as If I had done nothing and only God would deliver for me.
4. To not speak just because every one is speaking. I have learned that it is not necessary to say every thing.
5. I can love her every time as if I had met her for the first time.
6. I can focus like a child
7. To ask questions to my own self. Tough, hard questions.
8. To be honest about my emotions and to people whom they are associated, even if it is about asking to make love to.
9. I have overcome procrastination.
10. I can listen. I can really really listen now… to people, to the universe, to you.
11. And finally the greatest battle I have won over the years is to accept decisions of God.
We all use check lists. We use them to manage things and tasks efficiently. And we have often used check lists for seeing to if things are ready for an event or a picnic or a travel or a seminar.
There are some more check lists that we use without a note pad or a pen. We use them on a very subliminal level but they control our mental patterns to limits beyond imagination. Some times our whole set of emotions is being controlled by these.
These are check lists for happiness or being happy. We often have made a quite long usually a 10 to 15 items on a check list for being happy.
- The weather has to be fine. If its England, it has to be bright and sunny. If its the tropical regions, it has to be cloudy and windy.
- We have to be with the person we want to be with.
- We have to have our favourite food.
- We do not want anything to happen other than planned.
- We have to see if our looks are really as great as we wanted them to be this morning.
- We have to have the right drinks along with.
- If its’ a dinner or a family outing we have to make sure that it has to be better than the last time, as we immediately start to compare our present activity to that some times in the past.
- We do want our kids to act like what they are not yet: mature!
- If its an event, we can only be happy if we are some how assured that no one else dressed like us.
- Or on a long term scale we wait to achieve some thing big to be happy. Our response to it is : “Till that is not yet done, I can’t be happy.”
Most of us do not just take action. Most of us just keep on thinking to do some thing.
Most of us wait for a certain set of things to happen, before we start some thing. The fact is: that set of things is never complete, so we never get to start what we had planned to do.
The key is to just start. No matter how small, how inadequately prepared, how much lacking in resources, how much lacking in knowledge, how much lacking in experience.
If Thomas Edison had waited to do an MBA before experimenting for the electric bulb, we would still be using oil lamps !
Just start. Things never get right all the way, or all the things never get right our way. Just………… s t a r t !
I was among those babies which have trouble going to sleep. I would stay up till 3 a.m. making it quite hard for my mother for the next mornings work. And I was a baby then, eighteen months of age.
During my early years of schooling in the nursery and upper nursery ( for kids aged 4 to 5), I kept the same routine. The doctors said , there was nothing much to worry as some kids have their natural clock set that way and with time it shall get to normal.